Navigating Interpersonal Conflict Through Co-Measurement: A Path to Harmony

Georgina Berbari
May 29, 2024
Two women sitting having a conversation

Our day-to-day lives are filled with endless encounters with others. Whether the people we encounter are dear to us or we have never met them, each moment of connection has the potential to land somewhere on the spectrum of perfectly harmonious to utterly disastrous.

These interactions are the training ground of our spiritual work. Even when our intentions are at their finest, we will inevitably have interpersonal conflicts that test our resolve and challenge our ability to maintain inner peace. These moments, though inevitable, offer profound opportunities for growth and understanding. By embracing the concept of co-measurement, we can navigate through these conflicts with grace, fostering deeper connections and arriving at resolutions that honor the Higher Self within us.

Defining Interpersonal Conflict

“To practice co-measurement as a couple isn’t easy. It takes a deep understanding and mainly again a real respect for each other.”
- Nanette V Hucknall

Interpersonal conflict arises when individuals experience disagreements, misunderstandings, or tensions in their interactions. It can manifest in various forms, from minor disagreements to more significant challenges in relationships. Recognizing the presence of interpersonal conflict–and having the intention to more consciously approach these situations–are the first steps towards resolving it effectively.

Identifying Moments of Conflict

“We cannot embrace life when we’re constantly trying to escape from ourselves. It is only by accepting all of our strengths and limitations that we can move through difficult times and celebrate the good ones.”
- Nanette V Hucknall

Often, we may find ourselves entangled in moments of conflict without fully realizing it. These moments may emerge during conversations, exchanges of differing viewpoints, or encounters marked by emotional intensity. In these moments we may feel taken over by a storm of emotion, getting swept up, and maybe even saying regrettable things. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Learning to identify these moments allows us to pause, reflect, and respond consciously rather than reactively.


Calling Upon the Higher Self

“Connecting with your Higher Self helps you see the positive and negative in every situation by making it easier to handle feedback and constructive criticism in a way that doesn’t diminish our self-worth or discourage us from trying again.”
- Nanette V Hucknall

In times of conflict, accessing the wisdom of our Higher Self becomes essential. The Higher Self, our inner source of guidance and clarity, holds the key to navigating through challenging situations with compassion and insight. Through practices such as meditation, mindfulness, and self-reflection, we can attune ourselves to the guidance of the Higher Self, allowing its wisdom to illuminate our path forward.

Moreover, if we truly respect ourselves and work with our hearts at all times, we will respect others and have the patience to open ourselves to various points of view, opinions, and circumstances. The foundation is rooted in the heart, the seat of the Higher Self. This is also where co-measurement comes in…

Understanding Co-Measurement

“If you feel co-measurement in your heart, and you try to use it in your daily life— others will feel your calmness, your openness to listening to them, your respect for them and their ideas and needs; and they in turn will respect you, and listen to you, and even want to be more like you.”
- Nanette V Hucknall

Co-measurement transcends mere collaboration; it embodies a profound commitment to unity, empathy, and shared purpose. Unlike traditional hierarchical structures, co-measurement emphasizes collective intelligence and shared decision-making. It empowers individuals to contribute their unique perspectives and insights towards a common goal, fostering an environment of mutual respect and collaboration.

Consider a scenario where individuals are tasked with addressing a complex challenge. In a conventional setting, a hierarchical approach may assign specific tasks to individuals based on expertise. However, in a co-measurement framework, the group convenes as equals, engaging in open dialogue and collective problem-solving. Each voice is valued and respected, and decisions are reached through consensus rather than authority. This is a profound and compassionate approach to navigating interpersonal conflict.

As Nanette V. Hucknall articulates in her essay on co-measurement, "Co-measurement is not about measuring at all. It's about respecting someone, respecting the people you work with, or respecting the need for a positive outcome." This wisdom underscores the essence of co-measurement—a collaborative approach rooted in mutual respect and understanding.

Applying Co-Measurement to Interpersonal Conflict

In the context of interpersonal conflict, co-measurement offers a transformative approach to resolution. Rather than succumbing to adversarial dynamics or power struggles, individuals can cultivate a shared commitment to understanding and empathy. By embracing the principles of co-measurement—respect, active listening, and collaborative problem-solving—we can foster deeper connections with others.

Fundamentally, co-measurement invites us to transcend the limitations of ego and embrace the transformative power of unity and respect. By honoring the inherent dignity and wisdom within ourselves and others, we pave the way for harmonious relationships and meaningful connections.

Navigating interpersonal conflict requires courage, compassion, and a willingness to embrace new perspectives. Through the lens of co-measurement, and through establishment in the Higher Self, we can begin to transform moments of discord into opportunities for growth and deeper understanding.