The Higher Self can help us hold gratitude and hardship at the same time. 

Why Gratitude Can Sometimes Feel Dismissive

We’ve all heard it—"Just be grateful."

Perhaps it’s meant well. But sometimes, those words land with a quiet sting. In moments of real pain or deep uncertainty, being told to look on the bright side can feel like an invalidation of our emotions.

This is what is often referred to as spiritual bypassing—using positive emotions like gratitude to sidestep uncomfortable feelings, instead of facing them with honesty and care. When we rush to gratitude without making space for grief, anger, or fear, we risk invalidating those very real parts of ourselves.

The truth is, pain doesn’t cancel gratitude. And gratitude doesn’t negate pain. The heart can hold both.

The Spiritual Teachings of Higher Self Yoga reminds:

“Walking a spiritual path means being devoted to the goal... but also to delving into the unconscious and seeking understanding of your true nature.”

This path isn’t about pretending we’re okay. It’s about being courageous enough to be whole.

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A Different Approach: The Heart’s Capacity to Hold Both

Higher Self Yoga unveils a different kind of gratitude—one that doesn’t gloss over difficulty but embraces it with loving presence. This approach is rooted in the wisdom of the heart.

Through observing the mind, a tendency to judge or sort emotions into “good” and “bad” can be seen. On the other hand, the heart has the capacity to hold contradiction with compassion. 

In How to Live from Your Heart, HSY founder Nanette V. Hucknall says:

“The heart is the way to higher wisdom... the containment of opposites and a way for healing energies to flow.”

And so we see, paradox isn’t a problem. It’s a portal.
One can grieve and be grateful. One can struggle and still see beauty. These aren’t contradictions—they’re signs of an expanding consciousness.

Cultivating this capacity isn’t a one-time revelation—it’s a life-long spiritual practice. Each time we choose to stay present with both truth and tenderness, we align more deeply with the Higher Self.

What It Means to “Hold Both”

To “hold both” means to develop inner spaciousness—a place within where all of life can belong.

It’s not easy. It asks more of us than performance or positivity. But it also gives more: a grounded sense of self that doesn’t shatter when life gets hard.

“The heart knows how to hold the pain of the world and the beauty of being alive,” teaches Hucknall. 

This is spiritual maturity: Making space for light and shadow. Not choosing between them, but allowing them to exist side by side, trusting that the Higher Self knows how to navigate both.

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Guided Reflection: Real Gratitude in Difficult Moments

Here’s a reflection adapted from Higher Self Yoga: A Practical Teaching. You can return to it whenever you feel overwhelmed, numb, or disconnected:

1. Sit quietly and bring to mind a painful moment—recent or long past.
2. Let your heart feel it. No fixing. No judging. Just presence.
3. Ask your Higher Self: “What do I need to honor here?”
4. Then gently ask: “What is still good? What remains?”
5. List three grounding truths you’re grateful for—people, places, values, simple moments.
6. Close with: “What does my Higher Self want me to carry forward from this?”

This practice isn’t about immediacy; rather repetition and sustainability. It’s about finding yourself—your wholeness—within the full truth of your life.

Concluding Thoughts: Gratitude as a Return to the Higher Self

Gratitude doesn’t mean denying pain. It means we will not be defined by it. 

When we approach gratitude as a practice of resilience and heart, we begin to see it not as a mask, but as a doorway—one that leads us closer to the Higher Self.

As Higher Self Yoga Book I affirms:

“The Higher Self... takes you on the path to wholeness. It leads you into your true potential, and helps you discover who you really are.”

Authentic gratitude isn’t forced. It’s not about looking good or doing it “right.”It’s about truth. And the Higher Self is always aligned with truth—not performance.

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